The glasses are a great call! I went with a friend to them to get new glasses that were more "nonbinary" and it was MAGICAL what a huge difference they made... and the place we went was fantastic, too; we literally just said "they want glasses that will make them look gay but also genderless" and they had great recs. Half my haircut problem is probably that I don't have a regular hairdresser and sometimes end up at really hetero places.

A gayer backpack might go a long way too, since I carry my bag literally everywhere. Thinking of one-time high-payoff investments is useful!